Public Transport Blues

I catch public transport to work, and I have noticed a distinct class system in the sample of passengers that I encounter. I tend to make pithy snap judgements that make me feel superior, and I sneer or smile to myself behind my expensive sunglasses, where no one can tell where I am looking.

When I first get on the bus in the morning, it is filled with professional types; all wearing what I call ‘normal’ clothes. Men in suits, women in shift dresses or pants and a cool top. We are all carrying gym bags or lunch bags, and are silent. Completely silent; which is my preference on public transport. This portion of the ride is no problem.

A few blocks down the route, a few deadheads get on. I can only assume that they have spent the night in Kings Park, by both their smell, and clothing choice. “F%^# youu ccuuuuuuu%#” they say to each other, repeatedly. For no reason. They politely tell other passengers that they will ‘kick their teeth in’ if any ‘homos’ touch them. I’m yet to see this, which is insane, seeing as by this stage the bus is so busy, everyone is getting friendly. These guys don’t get on too often, and sometimes, I don’t see them for a week or so. They must sleep through the alarm.

A quick clean and off we goNow that I’m all fired up from that display of a waste of existence, I get to transfer to a bus that goes past Centrelink. So.. You can see that before I even get to work, I’m upset.
The amount of deadbeats that don’t even know if they should be on this bus is electrifying – they hold up the driver, asking question after stupid question; when all they had to do is read the sign next to the stop. Or just remember from the last damn time they got on.

The best example of lower-middle class judgement I dish out, is over payment. If someone gets on, and doesn’t use a Smartrider; I super roll my eyes and mouth “F*&%ing LOSER”. I mean, who carries CHANGE any more? This tends to hold up the trip by about 1 minute per loser. Although it’s much worse when a drunken dole bludging family hops on, and simply refuse to pay, stating that “Ahm gunna cennerlink” as the replacement for paying for a ticket. The amount of prams is almost criminal. If you have 5 babies with you, why get on a bus? You’d think, by the (un)sanitary conditions of these kids, leaving them at home to fend for themselves is a better idea. But, no – let’s inflict them on paying bus users, and go and collect your dole payment/child support with absolutely no intention of either getting a job, or using contraception.

Listen Lady Solution:
See image. But, make sure I’m not on the bus.

Punishment for the Innocent

graph of pain

Image thanks to Cereal with a Fork

Ah life, all fun and games until you have to try and do something outside of work hours. Have you ever tried going to the bank, post office, hairdresser, dentist or anything that normal people need to do after 5pm?? And that’s only if you can get out of work on time.
The other day, I called my hairdresser and was told I could only get an appointment Mon – Thur between 10 and 4. Unless I was willing to wait until February. Apparently all the other times were snapped up by people who work, which is funny, because aren’t the people who work the only people who should be spending money? If you have time to go the shops during the day, you shouldn’t be spending, that is up to the people who earn it!! The people who are too fricking busy to spend.

I like to order things online, to distract me from the mind numbing futility of work, and sometimes the merchant will only allow the item to be posted to your approved billing address instead of my work address. This cleverly means, I will never get my item. Basically what happens is, the mailman or courier will knock on my door, confused that I should be out when I’m expecting a package, he’ll leave a note to pick it up from my local post office. You know, the one that’s not open after work, the only time I can go there. What logic is this? If I’m not home during work hours to accept delivery, WHY would I suddenly be free the next day to stand in line and pick it up from the post office!! Calling them doesn’t work, they basically tell you bad luck, and we’ll return it to sender in 5 days. Can they at least forward it? No, this is a general delivery; we can’t forward it to another address unless you pay for a courier…FFS.

I suppose some of those people that can shop all day are just wealthy, from marrying up or their parents. I choose to believe that hard word didn’t do it, seeing as I feel like I work hard, and no one is letting me shop during the day. Luckily, some things are open on the weekend. But not the important things, like doctors, dentists, medicare offices, post offices, banks, any government office, gourmet food stores… the list goes on.

The only places I can shop on the weekend are in the city or woop woop suburban malls, and going to either is this big production of dodging the homeless and unemployed. They love coming out on the weekend because they know that the only people with money to spend have no choice but to make an appearance. Have a few dollars to spare? “I sure do!”I say, as I continue on my angry way.

Damn you, Census, Damn you

Does anyone else get irritated by having to fill out the Census form? I know it’s only every five years, but I don’t like filling out a form if there is no expectation of getting something out of it, like a prize, or money.

On the ABS website, it says that the form is crucial to the government for planning infrastructure. Well, I live in a city, and all my infrastructure needs are being met, so I’ll fill out your damn form, but I’ll do it angrily!

How about I list my cat as a dependent?Government? Planning? Infrastructure? Excuse me, but who on the last Census mentioned we needed several more sporting and entertainment stadiums, more public events that shut down the only south bound freeway, one way streets, less trash cans and mailboxes, more traffic lights and roundabouts and humorous signs? Somehow, somewhere, these results may or may not have been involved in this chicanery.

As we all know, statistics are completely useless if someone bad is using them to prove a point. Government committees and groups aren’t necessarily bad, but I know that when it takes 12 people, a horse and someone’s grandmother and her neighbour 6 months to make a decision, you know it’s going to look something like a bell-tower, a convention centre or a giant watermelon with kittens stapled to it.

The questions I swore most at was “What is your job title” followed by, “what are your duties at your job” or something. I think I wrote “My duties are the same as my job title”. I didn’t write “You idiot” because if someone’s job is an Auto-Hydro-Electric Ceasing Agent, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they throw toasters in people’s bathtubs to kill them. It just gets a little stupid when your job might be “Cook” and you then have to write “Cook” for the next one too. Small things to be annoyed about, but when you have to spend 10 minutes filling out a form that gets you exactly nothing, let the drinking and swearing begin.

Changing the World

With the CHOGM date fast approaching in Perth; it really makes you think about what kind of decisions will be given the most credence. Obviously, the decision to block off St Georges Tce for a year was the best one they could think of in the lead up, but what about policies and international initiatives and intrigue? Especially intrigue.

Apparently this year, there is an opportunity for normal folk to be on the civilian panel, and form something called a ‘Civil Society Statement’ to be presented to the world leaders who will be attending. This is my formal candidacy announcement. Now to think about what kind of policies I would like to see introduced. Past policies voted on include the abolition of apartheid, and the banning of nuclear testing in the Pacific. Hmm. Ok. [Read more…]

The 2012 Debacle

I had the pleasure of watching a great TV show last night on Foxtel. It was called “Conspiracy Theories with Jesse Ventura”. Now, I use the word ‘pleasure’ despite the fact that this show is about a bunch of lunatics who sit around talking about things no-one cares about and is a complete waste of time. But then I realized my site was of the same ilk. It gave me a really good laugh too. I’m sure there are clips on YouTube.

The episode last night was called “Apocalypse 2012” – I’m a bit late on this one, seeing as this first aired Jan of 2010. It was basically about how it’s “obvious” and “inevitable” that the world will end in 2012, and the US government knows about it. The host, former wrestler and Governor of Minnesota was concerned that there was a conspiracy between the “elite” (read: rich) and the Government to secretly build safe houses underground, to shield them from the riots, food shortages and lack of electricity that would follow this apocalypse. [Read more…]