Fat Town, Westside

So, I was out strolling around my neighbourhood the other day, when I noticed that there were a lot of retailers around that specifically target the obese.

winos - yes-pleaseI’m not talking about bakeries and dairy farms either, it’s actually clothing retailers. At my end of town, on one block, there are 4 plus size clothing shops. AND they all seem to sell the same crap. Wrap dresses, and stuff that looks like a ‘fashion’ student made it for their end of year show. You know what I mean; wide necklines made of sisal, in weird colours with cheesecloth and tulle everywhere. Yes, let’s draw attention to fat people by decorating them like a Christmas tree.

The reason I noticed all this, is a different story altogether. I was at my local wine merchant, conversing with the guy who works there, and I smugly thought to myself.. “Yeah, we are acquaintances, aren’t we? You know my name, I pretend to remember yours, I don’t need to tell you who I am in order to get my frequent winer points” My thoughts then wandered as I mused about the time that my adorable partner brought home the gift of three dozen bottles of wine, and how I didn’t need to go to the local store for about 2 months. Seeing as how I am usually there a few days a week, I then suddenly became outraged.

Why didn’t they call to check on me?

Lady Corpse

This could have been me, you jackasses

I mean, you have a customer like me, comes in every second day for about 4 years, and then all of a sudden STOPS COMING IN!? Where is the customer service?? I could be dead in my house, rotting for all they care. Pout. They could at least do it as a community service, how many ACTUAL dead bodies are out there, because these fiends refuse to follow up on regular customers??

Anyway, back to the fatties. So, as I sullenly scraped out of the way of a fat person trying to leave the store, I realised. This end of town is for the people that no one cares about. There are two homeless guys, the fat clothing stores, and weird CD store and a romance novel store. A CD STORE AND A ROMANCE NOVEL STORE.

THAT’S why when I tell people what suburb I live in, they nod approvingly, and then when I follow it with the name of my street, they look confused. No wonder my rent is such a bargain, and the landlord refuses to renovate the hole in the ground she calls a kitchen. Sob.

It’s ok though, I’ll have a few glasses of wine, and calm the f^&$ down.


  1. KFCed says:

    I was thinking about my suburb… a good upmarket suburb then I realised that within walking distance (but obviously who walks with a drive thru) not only do we have KFC and Hungry Jacks but a growing number of plus size retailers…. It has to be some sort of vertical integration plot. ….

    • lady says:

      I just realised mine is the same, and there are also a monkey-barrel-load of desert shops too… hmmm